Peasant's Quest
by Matt the masterofshadows
Summary: The story of Peasant's Quest hits the books.


Peasant's quest

Disclaimer: I do not own Videlectrix or any Homestar runner related items (except some fanart, and the Strong Bad Sings CD)

It began as the best-selling computer TV video game in the history of Videlectrix…uh, not really, but still! A peasant wearing short pants quested his heart into the nation, and now, he will quest…onto your bookshelf!

Rather Dashing, a simple peasant in the land of peasantry was returning home from his vacation at scalding lake. Oh, the times he had…stoning heathens, swimming in the lake.

"Oh man," he sighed happily, "those 6 weeks at scalding lake were awesome! I should definitely go next year." Rather dashing stood about 5'6", and had thick brown hair. He was wearing his souvenir scalding lake T-shirt, and a pair of short pants. He never wore shoes or socks, because he enjoyed the feeling of the grass beneath his feet (except when some of it jammed up his foot. Oy, did it sting to walk, and was it ever hard to get out!)

"But for now, I'll stick to grand ol' home sweet home!" Rather Dashing said joyfully, gazing at where his cottage was. Or, to be proper, should have been. What was there was a round pile of stones, hissing and steaming as if they were burned. "What the…where's my cottage?" He cried, distraught. He knelt down where what was left of his cottage. "It's still warm," He noted. "This was burninated not to long ago! But who could have done this?" He stood up again and tried to think. "Okay…just got home…my goblets, staffs…everything…burninated!" Then a thought struck his head. _Waitasec…_ he thought. _Burninated? _One person entered his mind. "I can guess who it was…" he said, letting the suspense sink in. "TROGDOR!" He yelled. His yell could be heard all over the land of Peasantry.

Trogdor the Burninator, as he was called, was a dragon, with a big beefy arm. Younger peasants usually draw a picture of him and go up the mountain to give to him. No one's ever made it though. Whenever anybody attempts to climb up the wall, large boulders begin to fall. The younger ones, of course, can never dodge them in time, so you can pretty much guess what happens.

"I don't believe this…well, actually, I can, but still! I'll go see the king, maybe he call help with this." Rather Dashing said to himself, so he went to the castle. As he entered the courtroom, he introduced himself to the king. "Oh great King, who governs all of Peasantry so fairly, I humbly request an audience with you." The king groaned. Royalty was a pain in the butt, having to have everything given to you on a silver platter.

"Very well, Rather Dashing, explain yourself."

"I had just come home from a wonderful trip at scalding lake, when I found my home burninated! Oh great king, I wish to go seek my revenge on Trogdor!"

"We have consisted with the burninator for centuries," The King replied. "I can't have you marching up there in your short pants upsetting the balance!"

"I'll upset YOUR balance, my lord!" Rather Dashing shot back, pointing a finger straight at the king's face, trying to make it seem threatening somehow.

"Rather Dashing, you will not sass back at this council!" The King said firmly. And with that, Rather Dashing was dismissed. He left the castle and exited to where a hay-bale lay, and a large tree had grown. He sat down in the hay, thinking of the warm, safe place where as a child he'd hide. Upset and wanting to be comforted, he stood up again and hugged the tree. A song came to his head as he did. He sang part of it:

To everything, turn, turn, turn.

There is a season, turn, turn, turn.

Singing the song made him feel a bit better. He looked up at the mountain where Trogdor resided, and sighed deeply. He got up and walked over to where the mountain began. He was going to walk up, but he was stopped. A knight, clothed in blue, looked at him suspiciously. "Who are you, and what is your business here?"

"My name is Rather Dashing, and I've come to get even with Trogdor! He burned down my cottage, and all my riches, my staffs, scrolls, etcetera, with it!"

"Rather Dashing, eh? More like Rather Homely!" The knight said, tilting his head to one side as him studying him. "And on a higher note, access to Trogdor is strictly for peasants. And you, RD, clearly are NOT a peasant."

"What are you talking about!"

"Look, Dragonheart…you don't smell like a peasant, you aren't dressed like a peasant, and your head certainly isn't a fire like a peasant. Get those three things and I'll consider letting you go up there. Be sure to look around lots, and talk to some people, too."

"Okay. Thanks for your help." Rather Dashing replied. He didn't know it, but he was in for the biggest adventure of his life.


End file.
